My Fiat

I've been in the discernment process for a while. Perhaps I’ve been discerning for most of my life and haven’t even realized it. But since moving out to Boston and finally feeling settled in, a restlessness inside me began kicking my heart and mind into high gear.

What am I doing here? How long do I wait? Why haven’t I found my future husband? Is there something I’m supposed to be doing instead of starting a family? Why don’t I feel challenged? I feel stagnant, is that normal? What could I do to keep growing? Lord, where are you in this mess?

I’m pretty comfortable in Boston. I easily lean into living my regularly scheduled life and push myself out of my usual routine only on my terms. My community is strong, work secure, and I’m succeeding in so many ways (shamelessly tooting my own horn here). Why then, do I feel the urge to leap into something unfamiliar, potentially dangerous and exceedingly uncomfortable?

The only answer I can come up with: I’ve been called.

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It was a normal day. I texted Marcus (hey bro) to simply check in (probably because I hadn’t talked to him in two and a half weeks) and he began lamenting about how rough work had been. He told me he wanted nothing more than to quit his job and go abroad to explore the world for a month or two, to give himself time to think, grow and listen to what direction he was going in life. Without hesitation I gave him my full support. It’s the time to take crazy chances and do things that scare you, because why not? He had nothing (except student debt and our parents’ concern) keeping him at bay.

Cheering on this new idea for him in my freshly ironed pencil skirt (who’s kidding, I don’t iron), a newly brewed cup of coffee and a bursting inbox awaiting my attention – it hit me. Why can’t I do something like that?

I began thinking about it. Hard. The kind of thinking that keeps you up at night researching programs, opportunities, and exciting futures. Could overseas mission work be something I’m supposed to do?

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It all happened really fast. Like really, really fast. I told my parents the day I sent in my written application and didn’t even have time to explain that I’d been granted an interview that weekend. I confided in just a few friends, not wanting to make waves before I certainly knew this was to be a part of my journey. And before I knew it, I was listening to a voicemail of my offered placement in the newest cohort to be dispatched August 2019.

Although I was shocked that something like this had unfolded, especially in such haste, the Holy Spirit helped me process this possibility in the most beautiful way.

My spring travels began with a trip home on my way out west for a work conference. All five of the OG Fitzpatrick crew were back in the 815, something I honestly didn’t think would happen so quickly after Megan’s wedding.

It was on that paved brick Broadway Street with the four people that laid my foundation, I was able to first share the news of my acceptance to a mission program. Together we thoughtfully digested the information, options, pros and cons. It was a lot for me. And my heart was torn as I embarked on the second half of my journey.

And then the Holy Spirit blessed me again. In LA ready to work our booth at the Religious Ed Congress, I began to confide and seek the opinion of some coworkers I highly regard. I was swarmed with encouragement and love. It was almost as if they’d been anticipating such a reveal from me, which brought me a new wave of peace.

There were continued hints. Drops of assurance I couldn’t have planted myself. Small conversations of mission work, the importance of honing the Spanish language, taking leaps of faith and most importantly trusting that no matter what, God’s got you.

So through tears and in a spirit of total surrender, I committed to 16 months of mission work in Honduras with Farm of the Child.

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Oh yes, March was an odd month. And has definitely paralleled the themes of Lent and spring as I’m about to face this huge life-blossoming change.

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Don’t worry, you’ll definitely be hearing more about the mission and how you can help support me in posts to come! If you’re totally curious, call or send me a letter. Have I mentioned how much I love snail mail?

Extremely eager to start helping support me financially? Look no further: https://bit.ly/2UdLoOy  (make sure you're donating to my account!)