"¿Vas a ser una Sor (nun), doctora, o maestra?" Charlie* (one of the young boys) casually asked me, his arm on my shoulder and a huge grin spreading across his tiny face.
"Hmm. ¿Que piensas?" I asked, watching the weekly scrimmage futbol game in front of us trying to stifle a laugh at the very limited three options he presented.
Within four seconds he responded, "Sor."
--------------------
Almost every day I've lived here has felt like three days squished into one. From the moment I wake up (usually 5:07AM) to when I hit the pillow (on a good day 9:30PM), I've exhausted all of my energy and can barely recall what happened after morning prayer.
I've been lucky to feel very at peace with the pace of life Honduras offers. It hasn't been a difficult adjustment to wash my clothes by hand and wait all day for them to dry on the line. I don't mind flushing the toilet with a bucket of water or washing my hair less because we haven't had consistent water for 3 days. Seeing the biggest spider I've ever seen in my entire life or having a gazillion ants running around the kitchen has stopped phasing me because that's just part of living here (okay, the spiders as big as my face will continue to scare me).
I'm blessed with being able to (somewhat) easily adjust to a new way of living. But it's not always easy to be here.
It's not easy to have only 2 hours of internet time a week on Sunday's and be the last person to receive exciting news from your family or friends. It's difficult to have to work at understanding what's going on in the Spanish conversations around you. It's feeling invisible with new people who (although love you) don't know the deepest parts of your heart. I'm downright scared to be in charge of a house of kids with limited Spanish vocabulary. And you don't always feel the greatest after scratching your leg and seeing dirt underneath your fingernails, knowing you're never (NEVER) really clean.
A lot of this life is hard.
--------
I've spent time in prayer recently questioning this call I so strongly felt all the way back in March. My entire transition here seems like a blur, a lifetime ago (Guatemala even feels so distant). And now that I'm here, I'm finally here, getting responsibilities and purpose, I'm asking myself (and God): "Woah, hold up. What exactly is your plan?"
In silence, in solitude, and amongst new friends I have been forced to reconcile some deep stuff sitting on my heart. I've been encouraged and taught how to ask Jesus to reveal Himself to me in my days. And luckily, He does not abandon. I am lifted by:
An impromptu tea party with my buds in the peace garden (and a little bit of dancing). A breakthrough with Lucy* teaching her to tell time on an old-fashioned reloj. Successfully baking 103 rolls in the outdoor horno (a 5 hour process) for the upcoming quinceañera (then not using said rolls for the fiesta, and proceeding to collectively eat them as a community in 3 days). Drinking delicious Sunday afternoon coffee while reading in a hammock.
Having an incredible prayer experience with a fellow community member that brings you so much closer to Jesus than when you first entered the prayer room. Group workouts (what is it about working out with other people that makes it so fun?). Finding people you feel comfortable speaking Spanish around and laughing through your mistakes together. When your pals make an effort to check in on you (sometimes through the shower curtain). Leading your first Rosary in Spanish and watching Mary work to bind your community together. Getting little hugs from the kids.
No matter how tired I am, how much I miss fall (the ache is strong, my friends. Have a hot cider for me), or how many lies darkness has tried to work itself into my biggest fears; I wake up each morning in the pitch blackness, hear the waves of the ocean hit the shore just yards away from the front steps of our house, wipe the sweat from my face, and ask God to reveal Himself to me.
-----------------
After lots of discernment we have officially been assigned our roles at the finca! Are you ready for this?
God is so good as He's allowed me to surround myself amongst the comfort of books and the opportunity to remind children that they're smart and oh-so-capable.
Yes, I have been deemed Bibliotecaria (LIBRARIAN!!!!) and Coordinacion de Educacion Especial (Special Education Coordinator).
I'm very excited to live out one of my job dreams (being a librarian has always been a little pipe dream), implement a few new ideas (that have been manifesting since childhood: reading buddies, a knock-off Scholastic book fair, authoring your own book) and let my book worm magic fly. And I'm eager to have the opportunity to learn in Special Education, where I'll be able to work with kids one-on-one and in small groups on Math and Reading!
Although those two things will encompass most of my time, my side hustles include: being a pal to Doña Olimpia (who comes once a week to do any wash we need done. She's the cutest woman, has 20 - yes, TWENTY - children, and I get to take care of her), leading on-the-ground communication with our state-side team to coordinate anything we need done for our benefactors and donors, PAVI ayudante (which is a program for the kids who live at the finca to help them build life-skills they wouldn't normally get in the classroom), and helping with children's catechists.
Each of these roles I've been called to make my heart leap with excitement. I see opportunities for growth, creative outlets, places where I'll be comfortable and also pushed.
Although Charlie* may have wildly misplaced my service as an actual "Sor," he wasn't wrong in helping me recognize my potential and ability to fulfill this bold call, the true and real call to soar.
*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of children living at the finca.
-------------
I realize there's a lot that you don't know about what my life is like here. I'd been having difficulty writing because everything is literally new.
If there's something you want to hear more about or are curious about a specific aspect of this new world, please email me or write in the comments below (ideas: a typical day, community life, the finca mission, what you think about being a missionary now, prayer life, weird/funny stuff that has happened)! Send 'em my way!
"Hmm. ¿Que piensas?" I asked, watching the weekly scrimmage futbol game in front of us trying to stifle a laugh at the very limited three options he presented.
Within four seconds he responded, "Sor."
--------------------
Almost every day I've lived here has felt like three days squished into one. From the moment I wake up (usually 5:07AM) to when I hit the pillow (on a good day 9:30PM), I've exhausted all of my energy and can barely recall what happened after morning prayer.
I've been lucky to feel very at peace with the pace of life Honduras offers. It hasn't been a difficult adjustment to wash my clothes by hand and wait all day for them to dry on the line. I don't mind flushing the toilet with a bucket of water or washing my hair less because we haven't had consistent water for 3 days. Seeing the biggest spider I've ever seen in my entire life or having a gazillion ants running around the kitchen has stopped phasing me because that's just part of living here (okay, the spiders as big as my face will continue to scare me).
I'm blessed with being able to (somewhat) easily adjust to a new way of living. But it's not always easy to be here.
It's not easy to have only 2 hours of internet time a week on Sunday's and be the last person to receive exciting news from your family or friends. It's difficult to have to work at understanding what's going on in the Spanish conversations around you. It's feeling invisible with new people who (although love you) don't know the deepest parts of your heart. I'm downright scared to be in charge of a house of kids with limited Spanish vocabulary. And you don't always feel the greatest after scratching your leg and seeing dirt underneath your fingernails, knowing you're never (NEVER) really clean.
A lot of this life is hard.
--------
I've spent time in prayer recently questioning this call I so strongly felt all the way back in March. My entire transition here seems like a blur, a lifetime ago (Guatemala even feels so distant). And now that I'm here, I'm finally here, getting responsibilities and purpose, I'm asking myself (and God): "Woah, hold up. What exactly is your plan?"
In silence, in solitude, and amongst new friends I have been forced to reconcile some deep stuff sitting on my heart. I've been encouraged and taught how to ask Jesus to reveal Himself to me in my days. And luckily, He does not abandon. I am lifted by:
An impromptu tea party with my buds in the peace garden (and a little bit of dancing). A breakthrough with Lucy* teaching her to tell time on an old-fashioned reloj. Successfully baking 103 rolls in the outdoor horno (a 5 hour process) for the upcoming quinceañera (then not using said rolls for the fiesta, and proceeding to collectively eat them as a community in 3 days). Drinking delicious Sunday afternoon coffee while reading in a hammock.
Having an incredible prayer experience with a fellow community member that brings you so much closer to Jesus than when you first entered the prayer room. Group workouts (what is it about working out with other people that makes it so fun?). Finding people you feel comfortable speaking Spanish around and laughing through your mistakes together. When your pals make an effort to check in on you (sometimes through the shower curtain). Leading your first Rosary in Spanish and watching Mary work to bind your community together. Getting little hugs from the kids.
No matter how tired I am, how much I miss fall (the ache is strong, my friends. Have a hot cider for me), or how many lies darkness has tried to work itself into my biggest fears; I wake up each morning in the pitch blackness, hear the waves of the ocean hit the shore just yards away from the front steps of our house, wipe the sweat from my face, and ask God to reveal Himself to me.
-----------------
After lots of discernment we have officially been assigned our roles at the finca! Are you ready for this?
God is so good as He's allowed me to surround myself amongst the comfort of books and the opportunity to remind children that they're smart and oh-so-capable.
Yes, I have been deemed Bibliotecaria (LIBRARIAN!!!!) and Coordinacion de Educacion Especial (Special Education Coordinator).
I'm very excited to live out one of my job dreams (being a librarian has always been a little pipe dream), implement a few new ideas (that have been manifesting since childhood: reading buddies, a knock-off Scholastic book fair, authoring your own book) and let my book worm magic fly. And I'm eager to have the opportunity to learn in Special Education, where I'll be able to work with kids one-on-one and in small groups on Math and Reading!
Although those two things will encompass most of my time, my side hustles include: being a pal to Doña Olimpia (who comes once a week to do any wash we need done. She's the cutest woman, has 20 - yes, TWENTY - children, and I get to take care of her), leading on-the-ground communication with our state-side team to coordinate anything we need done for our benefactors and donors, PAVI ayudante (which is a program for the kids who live at the finca to help them build life-skills they wouldn't normally get in the classroom), and helping with children's catechists.
Each of these roles I've been called to make my heart leap with excitement. I see opportunities for growth, creative outlets, places where I'll be comfortable and also pushed.
Although Charlie* may have wildly misplaced my service as an actual "Sor," he wasn't wrong in helping me recognize my potential and ability to fulfill this bold call, the true and real call to soar.
*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of children living at the finca.
-------------
I realize there's a lot that you don't know about what my life is like here. I'd been having difficulty writing because everything is literally new.
If there's something you want to hear more about or are curious about a specific aspect of this new world, please email me or write in the comments below (ideas: a typical day, community life, the finca mission, what you think about being a missionary now, prayer life, weird/funny stuff that has happened)! Send 'em my way!
SWEET! I wish I could visit your library! That is also one of my very favorite places. I'm sure yours is filled with the sounds of learning and laughing, support and love. God bless you. Keeping you in prayers.
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