It's the holiday season, which carries a lot with it. My birthday (oh hi, didn't see ya there 26). Fun family gatherings and the perfect excuse to get three more cups of hot coffee with friends. Sitting around the Advent wreath reflecting, singing and anticipating Jesus' coming. Lights, snow and general cozy merriment of small town Mount Carroll.
This time of year is my favorite.
Even here in Honduras the holiday tingle is in the air. You know the feeling, where you become overwhelmed at joy. When you can wear two (thin) layers of long sleeves and leggings and not sweat. When you're able to "sing" along with the tune of Christmas songs during posadas. When you break the rules and watch TWO holiday movies (one with the kids) on a random weeknight in the spirit of celebration. When you have so many bottle-up moments with your community that reflect the love and hope this season brings.
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Watching all of our old-missionary friends and a few others go home gave me a bad case of the green monster, Envy. I let myself get wrapped up in it. I lamented why they got to celebrate with their loved ones, and I had to stay here.
And again (as it seems to be a ever-consistent internal battle) I questioned why I'm in Honduras. Why I gave my initial yes. Why I'm choosing (daily) to live in community with a group of spry 22 year olds at my own old age of 26 (still letting that number sink in).
After letting that build up over a few weeks, being worn down by the energy of simply living life here (this is something that sounds pathetic, but is such a real thing), being sick (AGAIN), breaking down at not having the fuerte to open a window - I slept for 4 straight hours. And awoke with understanding and the return of peace.
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I've been reading In the School of the Holy Spirit by Jacques Philippe (thanks, Em) that teaches the movement of the Spirit in your life, how to know what's of God and what isn't. Recognizing the promptings and direction He's sending you, and really exemplifying how to work with those tugs to cumplir God's will.
Ringing in another year of life in the rain of Honduras (I love this cool weather) with a group of kids who are just starting to get to know me, and my fellow community members who surprise me with fun things like wine (I got to have a large cold glass of wine on my birthday, you guys) and love letters, it was evident how I've followed the Spirit's direction and command to this place. And exactly like I read, it leads to fruitfulness.
Birthday hugs. A long run and yoga. Happy birthday song from Sor Magda and Sor Mary. Spending time with my fav joven while making tajadas at the horno. Surprise greetings on the beach from our youngest kid and loving tia.
A hug from tio that felt like I had a dad nearby and him leading a special birthday song with everyone swaying along. One of our tias gifting me a handmade regalo lined with seashells, in only the way a mom can express care. A very holy hour with my two sisters in Christ who love me so so much. Phone calls home.
Hot chocolate at TBay and walks on the beach battling huge waves. A flooded kitchen (because Honduras). White wine (this deserved two shout-outs because of the lengths Adam went to make this a reality for me), chocolate chip cookies, Christmas with the Kranks, and a rendition of my 12 year old self singing my Mayor of Munchkin City lines. And una carta sorpresa filled with words of affirmation from someone who has my entire heart.
This garden I'm living in has abundant fruit.
==========
I wish I could give each of you just a glimpse into my life here: on the regular days where we're raking and figuring out how to ration our food and rolling with the random things that get thrown our way - and during the big stuff when we're celebrating birthdays and praying Novenas and playing Santa's elves as we sneak into houses to drop off gifts Christmas Eve-Eve (important note: here they leave freshly made tamales for Santa).
One of the best things about being a missionary is having the privilege to show up for our kids in the big and little ways. And oh how merry-merry, happy-happy it is to do that day in and day out.
This time of year is my favorite.
Even here in Honduras the holiday tingle is in the air. You know the feeling, where you become overwhelmed at joy. When you can wear two (thin) layers of long sleeves and leggings and not sweat. When you're able to "sing" along with the tune of Christmas songs during posadas. When you break the rules and watch TWO holiday movies (one with the kids) on a random weeknight in the spirit of celebration. When you have so many bottle-up moments with your community that reflect the love and hope this season brings.
=======
Watching all of our old-missionary friends and a few others go home gave me a bad case of the green monster, Envy. I let myself get wrapped up in it. I lamented why they got to celebrate with their loved ones, and I had to stay here.
And again (as it seems to be a ever-consistent internal battle) I questioned why I'm in Honduras. Why I gave my initial yes. Why I'm choosing (daily) to live in community with a group of spry 22 year olds at my own old age of 26 (still letting that number sink in).
After letting that build up over a few weeks, being worn down by the energy of simply living life here (this is something that sounds pathetic, but is such a real thing), being sick (AGAIN), breaking down at not having the fuerte to open a window - I slept for 4 straight hours. And awoke with understanding and the return of peace.
==========
I've been reading In the School of the Holy Spirit by Jacques Philippe (thanks, Em) that teaches the movement of the Spirit in your life, how to know what's of God and what isn't. Recognizing the promptings and direction He's sending you, and really exemplifying how to work with those tugs to cumplir God's will.
Ringing in another year of life in the rain of Honduras (I love this cool weather) with a group of kids who are just starting to get to know me, and my fellow community members who surprise me with fun things like wine (I got to have a large cold glass of wine on my birthday, you guys) and love letters, it was evident how I've followed the Spirit's direction and command to this place. And exactly like I read, it leads to fruitfulness.
Birthday hugs. A long run and yoga. Happy birthday song from Sor Magda and Sor Mary. Spending time with my fav joven while making tajadas at the horno. Surprise greetings on the beach from our youngest kid and loving tia.
A hug from tio that felt like I had a dad nearby and him leading a special birthday song with everyone swaying along. One of our tias gifting me a handmade regalo lined with seashells, in only the way a mom can express care. A very holy hour with my two sisters in Christ who love me so so much. Phone calls home.
Hot chocolate at TBay and walks on the beach battling huge waves. A flooded kitchen (because Honduras). White wine (this deserved two shout-outs because of the lengths Adam went to make this a reality for me), chocolate chip cookies, Christmas with the Kranks, and a rendition of my 12 year old self singing my Mayor of Munchkin City lines. And una carta sorpresa filled with words of affirmation from someone who has my entire heart.
This garden I'm living in has abundant fruit.
==========
I wish I could give each of you just a glimpse into my life here: on the regular days where we're raking and figuring out how to ration our food and rolling with the random things that get thrown our way - and during the big stuff when we're celebrating birthdays and praying Novenas and playing Santa's elves as we sneak into houses to drop off gifts Christmas Eve-Eve (important note: here they leave freshly made tamales for Santa).
One of the best things about being a missionary is having the privilege to show up for our kids in the big and little ways. And oh how merry-merry, happy-happy it is to do that day in and day out.
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