"She has problems with her Spanish." (Yes this was actually said aloud, though it sounds much harsher in English.)
I was in the middle of nowhere Honduras, sitting at a table in the escuela surrounded by 9 professional Honduran educators barely keeping up with the pinball rapidity of conversation as they tore apart my verbal and written Spanish presentation of the library and special ed.
I could've so easily panicked (and I did a little). I could've so easily burst into tears (and I did later). But in the midst of the chaos I looked across the room at Megan pointing to her eye, then to her heart, then to me. I looked down at my phone and Ryan had sent an encouraging message. And I looked to my right as Nohemi advocated for me in her fluency and grace.
Moments like this can consume you. Moments when you're literally torn down, stripped, humiliated, vulnerable. That's why doing something this hard and weird and different, like being a missionary at a children's home, requires a community.
And I've landed the jackpot.
----------------
I haven't had the chance to really introduce you to the rowdy bunch that have committed to living this life with me. And I figured because it's the month of love, friendship, comradery, I wanted to take time to really honor the six other missionaries who've been walking me through both the good and bad days.
So here we go, a more formal and written punto de luz to my Honduran fam living in Santa Teresita.
Marisa. Our eldest (followed shortly by myself) and our wisest. She's the one who takes care of us, not only because she's the nurse but she just has a way of making things lighter. Marisa has the most authentic personality. And I know every time I turn to her I'll get her real, honest opinion. She's seen me at some of my lowest points (read: more than once scooping me into hugs right as I'm breaking down into tears) and is my biggest cheerleader through the highs.
Marisa, you took the first steps with me here (I'm pretty sure you're the first person I met)! From flying to a foreign country together, navigating Spanish, making wet pizza, to raking dirt and ant hills, talking about life or love or Jesus, you've been with me since the beginning. You are my go-to friend, the one I can always count on. There's no one else I'd rather be confused with (Melissa-Marisa)! You truly are my mission sister and I'd be lost without you, old timer.
-
Ryan. Our community leader and teacher of the complicated English language. He's the person you can approach with a smile and 700 things to do and he'll help you with 701. When I need someone to literally get me on my feet and moving (aka my workout coach) or if I want to read alongside someone, he's the guy.
I don't know what it is about you, Ryan. You're just so...familiar (all of us missionaries are laughing while the rest of you don't get the joke, sorry). But it's SO true. I remember meeting you and thinking, I'm already comfortable around this kid. You are the one person I can throw anything at and you'll always catch it. I mean this literally and metaphorically. You're like my brother, buddy. And I'm so glad to be running alongside you in Honduras.
-
Adam. Our mister-fix-it, go-with-the-flow fella. He's just the best person to be in a foreign country with. A classic West Coaster who's able to adapt with a deep breath and solid step forward (you know the type). And he's good at everything. Name a talent, random skill or obscure hobby and if he doesn't already have it mastered, he'll try ONCE and be way above average.
Oh Dot, it's so cool being your friend. I mean that by trying to also express that you're really cool. And you don't even know it! You have pulled me out of many-a-funk with a random prank, light thought or hypothetical, por eso I am so grateful. Thanks for noticing the little stuff, making everyone feel seen, and causing me so many belly-ache laughs.
-
Nohemi. Our techie, our fluent speaker. She's a go-getter. The person I look at across the table and say with my eyes, What on earth is going on? If you would've told me 4 years ago that I'd be living in Honduras with another Belle I would've rolled my eyes and laughed. Yet, here we are.
Nemo, my beautiful friend, you have a heart for others. We caer so well, like SO well. I know Jesus put us together for a reason. You have been to the core of my hurts, sitting with me (often in silence), willing Jesus to come. As your fellow smick and native Midwesterner, I feel so honored to walk with you through the thick of missionary life and beyond (even if that means Finca del Nemo).
-
Megan. The youngest of our crew with the biggest heart for Christ. She's someone I trust en total as she's visited some of my ugliest corners and hasn't flinched. Walking with me, leading me, teaching me every day to love Jesus deeper; my life in Honduras would be radically different without her. Her energy and connection to others is contagious, and never leaves anyone stranded or alone.
It's so hard to think of a time when I didn't know you, Meg. I find it difficult to describe our friendship probably because it's been moved by Grace in deep ways. Thank you for accompanying me, especially in this time of my life, and reminding me daily how loved I am. Prayer sherpa, dish coordinator, roomie, and friend, I'm filled with gratitude for the opportunity to abide together with you.
-
Emily. This is so perfect because she just came into my room as I was writing this and poured into me a crazy amount of wisdom. Emily has been a missionary here for 2 years, and offered to stay a few extra months to help get our group fully assimilated to the finca. She exemplifies leadership and a love for Jesus in such a beautiful way. Every time we have a conversation I walk away with a better understanding of Jesus' love for me.
Em, I'm so glad you've walked part of this journey with me. You've caught me in so many near-tear moments where I just wanted to break away, but you somehow always figure out how to lead me back. Thanks for always rallying with and for me; organizing, speaking spanish, praying, cleaning. You're always open to receiving me wherever my headspace is at. I admire you for exactly how God made you and I feel blessed to call you friend
So now you know a little about these people who are helping me in the day-to-day trenches of this journey. I love each of you so so much and appreciate all you've done for me.
----------------
I also want to take a minute to give a shout out to those who've been supporting me from home. When I gave my yes I never imagined how difficult it would be to be so far away from people who know me and have lifted me up my entire life.
Mom and dad. You get a phone call from me almost weekly - and sometimes it's hard to hear everything that's going on with you. But at the same time so good to know that life goes on without me being a quick phone call or long weekend away. It's been challenging to really welcome you into what I'm living here, but between your messages, cards, and care packages I know just how proud of me you really are. I love you both so much, and I pray for you every single day.
-
Meg. Our sisterhood will withstand the test of all things, now including Honduras. Thank you for your constant reminder of sisterly love. For your letters and emails and random small packages that just seep with your personality. I may not be the best at responding to you, but you never let that affect how much you treat or love me. You'll always be my best friend. Por los siglos de los siglos.
-
Maria. It's been SO cool to watch how our friendship has grown in this time. You've been persistent in staying in touch with me despite my whacky schedule, more than once I've been overwhelmed with the normalcy of our friendship. You sending me pictures, voice messages, emails, texts, exactly like we've been doing the years outside of our joventud. You'll always understand me in a very special way, and I can't express how grateful I am to be your forever friend.
-
Theresa. Our friendship has been so life-giving, especially in this phase of life. Your emails and letters are literally LITERALLY exactly what I need to hear. You are someone I can excitedly run to about the movements of the Holy Spirit, and easily transition into talking about how much we love yoga or coffee. I have a deep love for you, sister. And know that Jesus is blessing our journey, our friendship. I can't wait until we're talking over a hot (or cold) brew together so soon!
-
Levi. My wild card. You are the one person outside of Honduras who has the most complete idea of what I'm living. Thank you for every single phone call we've shared, for pursuing me across the miles, and for your willingness to grow together (though apart) in faith. I admire so much about your good nature, and more than once have melted to the ground in our conversations as more of your heart is revealed to me. I'm counting down the days until we're together again (I think it's about 107, just a piece of strawberry pie)!
-------------------------
This phase of life has been so different in that I'm disconnected and remote in a way I've never been before. Those of you who've pushed through the barrier to get to me, please know how loved and known I feel.
And for the record, of all the missionaries I get the most letters in the mail. But don't be afraid to keep them coming. ;)
I was in the middle of nowhere Honduras, sitting at a table in the escuela surrounded by 9 professional Honduran educators barely keeping up with the pinball rapidity of conversation as they tore apart my verbal and written Spanish presentation of the library and special ed.
I could've so easily panicked (and I did a little). I could've so easily burst into tears (and I did later). But in the midst of the chaos I looked across the room at Megan pointing to her eye, then to her heart, then to me. I looked down at my phone and Ryan had sent an encouraging message. And I looked to my right as Nohemi advocated for me in her fluency and grace.
Moments like this can consume you. Moments when you're literally torn down, stripped, humiliated, vulnerable. That's why doing something this hard and weird and different, like being a missionary at a children's home, requires a community.
And I've landed the jackpot.
----------------
I haven't had the chance to really introduce you to the rowdy bunch that have committed to living this life with me. And I figured because it's the month of love, friendship, comradery, I wanted to take time to really honor the six other missionaries who've been walking me through both the good and bad days.
So here we go, a more formal and written punto de luz to my Honduran fam living in Santa Teresita.
Marisa. Our eldest (followed shortly by myself) and our wisest. She's the one who takes care of us, not only because she's the nurse but she just has a way of making things lighter. Marisa has the most authentic personality. And I know every time I turn to her I'll get her real, honest opinion. She's seen me at some of my lowest points (read: more than once scooping me into hugs right as I'm breaking down into tears) and is my biggest cheerleader through the highs.
Marisa, you took the first steps with me here (I'm pretty sure you're the first person I met)! From flying to a foreign country together, navigating Spanish, making wet pizza, to raking dirt and ant hills, talking about life or love or Jesus, you've been with me since the beginning. You are my go-to friend, the one I can always count on. There's no one else I'd rather be confused with (Melissa-Marisa)! You truly are my mission sister and I'd be lost without you, old timer.
-
Ryan. Our community leader and teacher of the complicated English language. He's the person you can approach with a smile and 700 things to do and he'll help you with 701. When I need someone to literally get me on my feet and moving (aka my workout coach) or if I want to read alongside someone, he's the guy.
I don't know what it is about you, Ryan. You're just so...familiar (all of us missionaries are laughing while the rest of you don't get the joke, sorry). But it's SO true. I remember meeting you and thinking, I'm already comfortable around this kid. You are the one person I can throw anything at and you'll always catch it. I mean this literally and metaphorically. You're like my brother, buddy. And I'm so glad to be running alongside you in Honduras.
-
Adam. Our mister-fix-it, go-with-the-flow fella. He's just the best person to be in a foreign country with. A classic West Coaster who's able to adapt with a deep breath and solid step forward (you know the type). And he's good at everything. Name a talent, random skill or obscure hobby and if he doesn't already have it mastered, he'll try ONCE and be way above average.
Oh Dot, it's so cool being your friend. I mean that by trying to also express that you're really cool. And you don't even know it! You have pulled me out of many-a-funk with a random prank, light thought or hypothetical, por eso I am so grateful. Thanks for noticing the little stuff, making everyone feel seen, and causing me so many belly-ache laughs.
-
Nohemi. Our techie, our fluent speaker. She's a go-getter. The person I look at across the table and say with my eyes, What on earth is going on? If you would've told me 4 years ago that I'd be living in Honduras with another Belle I would've rolled my eyes and laughed. Yet, here we are.
Nemo, my beautiful friend, you have a heart for others. We caer so well, like SO well. I know Jesus put us together for a reason. You have been to the core of my hurts, sitting with me (often in silence), willing Jesus to come. As your fellow smick and native Midwesterner, I feel so honored to walk with you through the thick of missionary life and beyond (even if that means Finca del Nemo).
-
Megan. The youngest of our crew with the biggest heart for Christ. She's someone I trust en total as she's visited some of my ugliest corners and hasn't flinched. Walking with me, leading me, teaching me every day to love Jesus deeper; my life in Honduras would be radically different without her. Her energy and connection to others is contagious, and never leaves anyone stranded or alone.
It's so hard to think of a time when I didn't know you, Meg. I find it difficult to describe our friendship probably because it's been moved by Grace in deep ways. Thank you for accompanying me, especially in this time of my life, and reminding me daily how loved I am. Prayer sherpa, dish coordinator, roomie, and friend, I'm filled with gratitude for the opportunity to abide together with you.
-
Emily. This is so perfect because she just came into my room as I was writing this and poured into me a crazy amount of wisdom. Emily has been a missionary here for 2 years, and offered to stay a few extra months to help get our group fully assimilated to the finca. She exemplifies leadership and a love for Jesus in such a beautiful way. Every time we have a conversation I walk away with a better understanding of Jesus' love for me.
Em, I'm so glad you've walked part of this journey with me. You've caught me in so many near-tear moments where I just wanted to break away, but you somehow always figure out how to lead me back. Thanks for always rallying with and for me; organizing, speaking spanish, praying, cleaning. You're always open to receiving me wherever my headspace is at. I admire you for exactly how God made you and I feel blessed to call you friend
So now you know a little about these people who are helping me in the day-to-day trenches of this journey. I love each of you so so much and appreciate all you've done for me.
----------------
I also want to take a minute to give a shout out to those who've been supporting me from home. When I gave my yes I never imagined how difficult it would be to be so far away from people who know me and have lifted me up my entire life.
Mom and dad. You get a phone call from me almost weekly - and sometimes it's hard to hear everything that's going on with you. But at the same time so good to know that life goes on without me being a quick phone call or long weekend away. It's been challenging to really welcome you into what I'm living here, but between your messages, cards, and care packages I know just how proud of me you really are. I love you both so much, and I pray for you every single day.
-
Meg. Our sisterhood will withstand the test of all things, now including Honduras. Thank you for your constant reminder of sisterly love. For your letters and emails and random small packages that just seep with your personality. I may not be the best at responding to you, but you never let that affect how much you treat or love me. You'll always be my best friend. Por los siglos de los siglos.
-
Maria. It's been SO cool to watch how our friendship has grown in this time. You've been persistent in staying in touch with me despite my whacky schedule, more than once I've been overwhelmed with the normalcy of our friendship. You sending me pictures, voice messages, emails, texts, exactly like we've been doing the years outside of our joventud. You'll always understand me in a very special way, and I can't express how grateful I am to be your forever friend.
-
Theresa. Our friendship has been so life-giving, especially in this phase of life. Your emails and letters are literally LITERALLY exactly what I need to hear. You are someone I can excitedly run to about the movements of the Holy Spirit, and easily transition into talking about how much we love yoga or coffee. I have a deep love for you, sister. And know that Jesus is blessing our journey, our friendship. I can't wait until we're talking over a hot (or cold) brew together so soon!
-
Levi. My wild card. You are the one person outside of Honduras who has the most complete idea of what I'm living. Thank you for every single phone call we've shared, for pursuing me across the miles, and for your willingness to grow together (though apart) in faith. I admire so much about your good nature, and more than once have melted to the ground in our conversations as more of your heart is revealed to me. I'm counting down the days until we're together again (I think it's about 107, just a piece of strawberry pie)!
-------------------------
This phase of life has been so different in that I'm disconnected and remote in a way I've never been before. Those of you who've pushed through the barrier to get to me, please know how loved and known I feel.
And for the record, of all the missionaries I get the most letters in the mail. But don't be afraid to keep them coming. ;)
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