When I arrived at the Finca I figured the simplicity pillar would be something that was forced on us as we stepped into rural Honduras. We'd have to face things like no air conditioning in a really hot climate or constantly having sand in your pockets. I'd get used to waking up to find that a rat got into the food or accustomed to the water going out and taking bucket showers. I really thought that simplicity would essentially be an adaptation, a physically simpler way of living.
In some ways that holds true (ie: read all the examples above), but then I was properly introduced to Saint Therese of Lisieux*, the patron saint of missionaries and our missionary house. From the way she chose to live her quiet life and in her daily prayer, I learned that we are called to a deeper form of simplicity, one of littleness and humility.
Simplicity is more than just the environment we live in, it can be something we actively live. It's a virtue that’s to be invited into everyday situations. Instead of grumbling about needing to build a fire in the fogón when the gas runs out, we learn to give gratitude for being given time to slow down the cooking process. When washing clothes takes over an hour and your body aches, we offer up the weariness for someone close in heart. If it’s an off-day for our Spanish brain and we continue stumbling over words, we find different ways to express what we mean (ie: sound effects, hand gestures, drawings, descriptions - ya learn to get creative).
Simplicity is a lot of little yesses, a dying of self, a fiery desire for humility.
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I've been praying through the intercession of Mary for hope and peace in this transition out. I'm fervently asking for understanding within these last few weeks, when it would be easier in many ways to just change my flight and leave tomorrow.
And Mary has followed through and talked to her Son on behalf of me. Big time.
My time here has been so little. And I love that. Funnily enough it's one of the reasons I was drawn to the finca in the first place. I was simply being asked for my presence. That's it.
And that's what I've done. But because of this, I'm not the favorite missionary (in any regard). My Spanish is far from perfect. I don't have any concrete things to point at in my work. I don't have deep seeded relationships with many of the kids. You get the point: on paper it doesn’t look like this year was much.
But in just one long morning/afternoon, Jesus generously shows me the ways He's worked through me here. With a long, beautiful conversation underneath a mango tree in the windy morning with the first jovencita who befriended me. With a spontaneous invitation to lunch and chatting about learning how to cut hair and discussing "what would you do if" (a huge wave broke over the fence and a shark came into the finca). With a formal lunch invitation from a different house (on the same day), fresco and all, and happily exploring plants and playing “monstra” afterwards. With random hugs and words of affirmation from the kids (you can’t help but feel like a million bucks).
As this day played out I felt my anxiety quickly disappear. I felt myself clinging to the hope I'd been praying for. The Spirit moving inside and walking me through my insecurities, paso por paso, tearing down the lies, pouring in the real truth of my littleness and helping me embrace simplicity.
Oh how eagerly my heart clings to its promise.
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As my days are numbered, I've been thinking a lot about how I want to bring simplicity home with me. And realize one of the most life-giving parts of the pillar that I've lived here is the encouragement to disconnect from the world's noise. In a lot of ways this is a great challenge, especially as we now live in such a screen-heavy world. But I’ve found freedom in putting away my phone. All of a sudden there was no expectation I’d be reachable and no pressure to update others with life-highlights.
I’d been given full permission to simply live within the moment. Although it’s often very hard to realize what you’re missing while not being connected, life has proven more colorful (and a lot less anxious).
Simplicity is an open invitation to everyone. To disconnect. To offer it up. To think about our actions and words. To take more time to pray. Really, to re-acquaint ourselves with our Creator. And is this not what our souls are hungry for? Less clutter, less “me-me-me”, less desperate grasping for more?
We're all called to a simpler way of life, and I am hopeful that I will cling to and carry with me back home this littleness: a spirit of simplicity.
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Just another prayer plug: Please pray through the intercession of Saint Therese of Lisieux for me (and all my missionary folk). This has been the wildest, deepest, most duro year I've ever lived and it's all quickly coming to an end. I'll see you all (COVID-pending) soon!!
*If you don’t know much about Saint Therese I highly recommend looking her up! She’s changed my prayer life, especially in my approach to Jesus. Ugh, she’s just so cool. Santa Teresita, ruega por nosotros!
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