¿Me veo nativo de Guatemala? Probably never will, but I’m working really hard on sounding like one.
I feel like I’ll be waking up from this dream at any minute. That the smells of la Ciudad Vieja will fade, my host family’s fast-paced voices will become muffled, and almost like it never happened, I’ll be back home in Estados Unidos con mi padres y hermano.
But every morning I continue to open my eyes in a new bed, immersed in an unfamiliar culture. This is real. I’m living in Guatemala.
--------------
I’ve been surprised at how at peace I feel. I had a mini panic attack on the drive to the airport (definitely due to sheer anticipation) and a minor internal meltdown when the airline almost didn’t let me go through security because my return flight home was nonexistent, but mostly I’ve been embraced con una calma.
I credit this to the prayers you’ve rained down, to my patron saint of this entire journey (Saint Therese), and my loving Mother Mary who has constantly guided me on my way. I have never felt so certain of greater protection and care.
So thank you, please keep your prayers coming.
--------------------
Guatemala es un pais bonito. I’m staying in Ciudad Vieja, which was the second capital of Guatemala, right outside of Antigua where our school is. Removed from the toursity circle we’re able to totally immerse ourselves in the culture, our host families speak only Spanish, and we’re encouraged (forced) to jump right into learning.
It’s been difficult. I have to remember I’ve only just begun my time here, to not put so much pressure on myself for not picking up the language as quickly as I desire. My brain physically hurt (still don’t know how that’s possible) after only 24 hours of attempting to communicate with my host family and trying to understand passersby talk at superspeed.
It’s been absolutely humbling to have limited vocabulary and communication. I’ve had to come up with creative ways of connecting with the kids in my family, show appreciation and care to the mother, and utmost respect to the father. It’s been a challenge. During meals I mostly sit and listen, attempting to absorb as much of the conversation as I possibly can.
Me siento afortunado que mi familia de Guatemala son muy simpatico y generoso en palabra y obra. They are incredibly welcoming and patient with me in every way. And I truly feel like I’m already a small extension of their family (tengo seis juegos de Uno para mostrar).
It’s been overstimulating. There’s always so much going on and everyone seems to have a lot to do. People are bustling here and there, walking in the middle of a busy street, while I attempt to look casual as a giant truck zips by me at full speed. Everyone tries to say, “hola” to us (gringas stand out like a sore thumb), and it’s a balancing act with who you should (and shouldn’t) be smiling at.
But all these things will soon normalize. I’ll (hopefully) be able to unfreeze my brain and say more than “¿Buenos dias, como estas?” to my family (I do a lot better with listening than I do speaking), I’ll eventually know how to get to and from mi casa a la autobus, and things will quickly become routine.
---------------
I sat in the Adoration Chapel only 6 minutes away from my house with Marisa (my fellow missionary) and just soaked in His love.
His presence consumed me, as it did la abuelita praying el Rosario in the corner y el hombre surrendered to his knees.
My faith hasn’t yet been shaken here (give it time). I haven’t had any doubts in following this call. But how beautifully assuring it felt to be grounded in and directed by His love.
“How do you feel?” Marisa asked me as I nursed a small cup of hearty caffeine.
Without hesitating and likely still feeling the glow from adoring our Lord I said, “I feel ready for everything that’s ahead.”
“Por supesto,” she said with a knowing smile and a confident nod. “And whatever we’re not prepared for God will handle in His own way.”
(How do I continue to surround myself with people years more insightful than I’ll ever be?)
Comments
Post a Comment