Mi Primera Semana

Two posts in one week? She must be bored out of her mind in Guatemala. 

I told you I’d be staying pretty connected while I’m studying and writing is so cathartic (only my fav way to digest, reflect and express my feelings). Por eso, you’re getting inundated (at least for now).

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It’s hard to believe I’ve been in Central America for a full week. When people have reached out to me their first question is usually, “How are you?” 

I don’t even know how to properly answer that because the range of emotions I feel in the first 4 minutes of every day marks all the colors in a rainbow. 

But for a while now I’ve landed on being in a bit of a slump (one that has me feeling quite similar to the days when I’d cry at the color yellow). It’s discouragement and fear and an ugly dash of pride all globbed together convincing my rational thinking I’m not smart, good, worthy enough to be here, to catch onto the Spanish language, to fulfill this call. It’s trying to humiliate me, fighting against the real reason I’m here. 

Please continue to pray that I have the strength, knowledge and confidence to step out of my own way and let God work through me. Because this entire thing isn’t for me (an internal struggle I’ll be facing). I’m not here to prove anything or meet anyone’s expectations. 

I’m here, exactly as I am. Putting in the work. And letting God do the rest. 

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The second question everyone asks is, “How’s your host family?” And my friends, I haven’t been able to describe them with justice. 

I’m staying at the home of Sara Graciela Hernandez. And let me tell you, she is a rockstar. She’s a homemaker, LAWYER, and somehow finds every way to make me (a non-fluent speaking stranger) feel right at home (#goals all around, amiright?). 

I was immediately at peace in her presence. She is the most patient with me, talking slowly when I look at her blankly, gently teaching me when I respond to her phrases or questions SO incorrectly, and taking care of me like I’m literally her own child. Which she and her very kind husband, Pablo, have three of: Sweet Paola is eleven, Pablito (Pablo Jr.) is nine, and baby Jose is at the same speaking level as I am...basically none. 

Let me tell you, without even knowing the language (I know mostly what’s going on in my attempts to keep up at the dinner table) I can tell love is seeping from every corner of this house. It’s in the way Pablo y Sara tease each other and the easy way they dance around the kitchen passing off the baby when the water is boiling over and the tomatoes need to be chopped. 

It’s how often they say mihijo or mihija to Paola y Pablito. I can hear it in Pablito’s singing in the shower or loudly at the dinner table (it’s like I’ve known them forever) as everyone laughing joins in while we break bread. I see it in the way Paola admires her father and smiles gleefully at his jokes. And when Jose burps and giggles, we all break out in cheers.

There is so much love here. It makes me overjoyed to be a part of a youthful, lively family - even when I’m mostly just smiling, nodding and saying, “estoy bien, gracias.” God had a plan when he placed me here, He knew I’d need this exact family to pull me through this. 

I’m easily distracted by their contagious energy, eagerness to play Uno (they literally would play it every night if Sara let them), the goofiness in every evening meal, the way it feels to have little people watching you - looking up to you - as you take ten seconds to pray before you eat, the way Pablito asked if he could visit me in Chicago (guilty of telling people that’s where I’m from) to see a futbol game, or the conversation I easily (one of the best conversations I held) shared with Sara about Catholicism. 

These people are so important to this journey. And although they’re contractually obligated to take care of me being a host family and all, I feel so welcomed in this home. 

Rest assured, I’m not lacking for love (or food cause they keep overfeeding me - NO COMO MUCHO). 

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“How’s Guatemala?” A pretty general question I’m eventually asked by everyone. 

Beautiful. Honestly. Everywhere I look I see volcanoes, shades of green, smiles, wildly painted buildings. Guatemala is vibrant, alive, so full of wonder. 

I feel pretty comfortable, especially for just getting my bearings (I get turned around a lot in Antigua), and I think that’s partly due to just embracing everything as it is. 

Eating all things put in front of me, not questioning if the overloaded truck should really be passing una camioneta (chicken bus) at full speed, dealing with the fact that my face will break out and I’ll smell bad for the next 16 months because of the elements I encounter in the first few minutes of exiting mi casa. All of it. Lay it on me. Porque esta mi vida ahora. 

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Although I’ve been in a spiritual battle, torn as to why I’m here (I was so certain cuando era en los Estados Unidos), I’m physically (except for the minor cold I contracted from bebe Jose) doing well. 

Please continue to pray for me! And hit me up with any questions you have about my daily life. I want to share this experience with you!